Gratitude and Dismay

I am not yet legally blind. I struggle to see. I spend my days filled with gratitude and dismay. It’s like two sides of a coin I never wanted.

Did I mention that I am an artist? I paint furniture. Or I did. Now even solid pieces are filled with runs and drips. It’s a contrast thing. I can’t see the paint that’s causing trouble. It all looks the same to me.

And forget about details. The days of painting the alphabet on children’s furniture or painting small polka dots and squares and flowers are all gone. It’s just a mess when I try. There is before and there is after. I am living in the after.

It’s a perfect opportunity for laughter. I thought I saw a skank on my kitchen counter the other day. My heart stopped for a moment. Now, I’ve never seen one of those in my house but sometimes my vision “sees” things. On closer inspection, it was the coffee pot cord peeking out from under the panini machine. Up close, it’s not even remotely the same.

Sometimes it’s not so funny. I don’t always see stairs that are the same color as the ground around them. Cement stairs are awful unless someone has painted them a contrasting color. Also slopes and such always cause me to stumble. My husband is getting adept at warning me about what’s coming my way. I realize I am one fall away from a disaster.

I am grateful that I can still read. It’s been my escape for most of my life. The doctors are hopeful that even as my distance vision fades away and my contrast issues increase, I will still be able to read. A blessing amidst a challenge.

I have learned so much from those who have gone before me. I use my fingers to guide a key into the door. I know a cane is in my future. I despise what I am also grateful for. What a mess.

I look around and see those who are completely blind. I am grateful that I’m not there yet. That’s the key word. Yet. I have no idea what the future holds. Does anyone? But I know who holds it for me and with me. Jesus is right there beside me. There are blessings in the mess. I will continue to cling to Him as I step forward into an unknown future.

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art for a cause

This cabinet was my contribution to the Funky Furniture Auction held at Landmark Park recently. The event was to raise money for a scholarship fun. The original cabinet was stained a dark brown. It came with hearts cut into the doors and chicken wire behind them. It didn't have a back. I was told it had been chicken wire. It was definitely country -- which I'm not. I took the old doors off and put new doors on. It cut some har, a couple of eyes, put on nose knobs and some bright lips and Miz Bea was almost ready. I added her shoes and hat and she was set. This piece of functional art is whimsical and unique. And it was all for a good cause.

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Bouffant Blonde

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